Sometimes, clients are in so much distress that they wonder if therapy is actually working. This can happen when people are struggling to recover from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), grief and loss, and especially the pain of relationship infidelity or marital affairs. A client once asked me, “if the pain is still there, how can you know if you are improving?”
As humans, we are wired to connect with each other. However, this longing can be difficult especially when a relationship dissolves. Especially in a committed romantic relationship, a breakup can affect our self-esteem, mood, and even health. This is because coming out of a romantic relationship may make us question ourselves.
Discovering that your partner has cheated on you can be one of the most excruciating experiences you can face. Many people in the throes of trying to recover from a partner’s affair go through an agonising time. Although every couple’s experience is uniquely challenging, there are some similar patterns to how recovery takes place.
The word is out! Based on possibly the longest research study on adult development ever conducted, we now know what contributes to human happiness. It is not money. It is not fame. So what is it?
Chinese New Year is just around the corner and with it comes relatives with the well-meaning barrage of questions.“Got boyfriend already, ah?” “Aiyah, why no children yet?” “You lost your job?” For most, this flurry of questions is normal but what about those who have just suffered a relationship break-up, dropped out of school, or lost a job? Or those who are still, despite trying hard, unable to find a life-partner or have children of their own? What might family gatherings be like for them?
The question “What career should I pick?” is a daunting question especially for 16-18 year olds as they exit high school and start looking into college or university programs. There is much riding on making the right choice especially with the prices of good education increasing. Many parents and children struggle with making this decision. During this period, there is a high risk of disagreement and conflict as the clash of minds, wills, and personalities take place because of the arduous and often difficult task of choosing a career path. That being said, there is hope! Here are the AEIOU’s to making career decisions with your teens:
Some time back, I met a British expat who had moved from Beijing to Kuala Lumpur with his partner. He learned about my occupation as a marriage and family therapist and asked, “Do you think moving to a different country with your partner can inject a healthy fresh-start to your relationship?” I replied, “It depends.”