The Hidden Forces within Yourself: Understanding Negative Core Beliefs

Have you noticed a voice in your mind that keeps telling you things such as “I don't deserve love”, “I'm not good enough”, or “I'll never make it”? Or even about others and the world, such as “people cannot be trusted”, “the world is unfair”?

These voices are a form of thoughts and at times it almost feels like you have an invisible ‘script’ running through your mind. You feel as if you are fighting with yourself inside because this voice keeps bringing you down (sabotaging) during challenging times – which in turn shapes your actions, reactions, and emotions without you even realising it.

This specific script in your mind is known as negative core beliefs – deep underlying thoughts that influence how you see yourself and the world around you. 

Curious on how these beliefs form and why they seem to be embedded or stuck within you even when you try to consciously break free from them. Let us dive into the hidden forces behind these beliefs and how they impact your life. 

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What Are Core Beliefs?

Core beliefs are like a blueprint of a building that provides a detailed guide in navigating the structure, dimension, and other specific information required for the building. Similar to a blueprint, core beliefs outline and provide navigate your thoughts, behaviours, and emotions towards yourself, others, and the world around you. For example, if the core belief is filled with negative and limiting beliefs, it can create walls that may prevent you from reaching your best self. Whereas a more positive and encouraging core belief would create a life filled with growth and opportunity. 

Core beliefs are typically formed in the early experiences of life either through your personal experiences and interactions with parents, teachers, peers, and the culture in which you live. These beliefs then shape how you perceive and interpret everything around you.

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Negative Core Beliefs

Now, let us get into the negative core beliefs - these are the beliefs that make you feel unworthy, unsafe, or incapable. 

Examples of negative core beliefs:

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“How did my core beliefs become negative? Does it develop over an event or overnight?” The answer is that negative core beliefs hardly show up overnight. As previously mentioned these beliefs are developed during early experiences, such as during childhood. 

Think back to when you were younger, where someone (a teacher, parents, or family member) gives an unpleasant remark about you or your efforts. For instance, a teacher told you that you are not smart enough or a close friend of yours suddenly distanced themselves,  and their action led you to believe that you are not good enough, unlovable or undeserving of love. After multiple similar occasions, these experiences can turn into negative core beliefs - creating a distortion in the way you view yourself and the world. 

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Challenging and Changing Negative Core Beliefs

So now you understand what negative core beliefs are and how they affect you, you might wonder: “What should I do then? Can I change it or should I let it be?”

If you are a person who seeks to change and grow, we would highly encourage you to restructure these negative core beliefs into empowering ones! While it may take some time and effort, your brain is designed to reconstruct according to new habits and patterns (e.g., eating a healthy diet, exercising 30 minutes daily). 

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Here's how you can start challenging them:

1. Awareness is Key 

The first step is recognising these negative core beliefs. You will need to spend time to reflect on your immediate (automatic) thoughts in certain situations or towards people. For example, when someone offers help, does the voice in your mind immediately go, "I cannot trust him/her/them"? If your answer is yes, that may be a sign that a negative core belief is at play. 

Note: Our HRD-claimable BET’RR programme is designed for exactly this! To know more, reach out to us here or read more about the BET’RR model here.

2. Practice Self-Compassion

Overcoming negative core beliefs doesn’t happen overnight. Being kind to yourself is essential during the process. You have spent years holding onto these negative beliefs, it will also take time to change that mindset. Be patient with yourself and keep acknowledging and celebrating every little progress. If you make a mistake, forgive yourself and try again. Remind yourself that it takes time, and that you are learning.

3.  Question the Belief

Once you have identified the negative belief, try and ask yourself whether that belief is based on facts or is it based on assumptions or past experiences that may no longer apply. Often, negative core beliefs are exaggerated. Look for instances or examples where they don’t apply. For example, believing that “I am not good enough” may only apply to one or two particular areas, not all areas, for all time – “I may not be good enough to get into medical school, but I am good enough in my current work… and I can keep learning. Who knows, one day, I may be good enough to pursue further studies in a healthcare related field”!

4.  Reframe the Belief

Instead of thinking, "People cannot be trusted", try reframing it to "most people have good intentions and are trustworthy, but not everyone is" or "trust is earned, and not everyone deserves it right away". This shift in perspective helps to weaken the negative belief you hold. 

5. Seek Support 

At times, you would want guidance or someone to help you through this process, working with a therapist or counsellor can be incredibly helpful. They not only help to guide, identify and challenge your core beliefs, they also work together with you to develop healthier ways of thinking – which in turn creates positive core beliefs. 

Note: If you would like to seek support, you may contact us here. Additionally, if you would like to know who may be a suitable therapist or counselor at Rekindle, you can find out more here.

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Core beliefs are fundamentally powerful, and they have the ability to control your life. However, unhelpful core beliefs that negatively impact our mental wellbeing  can be changed through self-awareness and by habitually challenging them. With the right guidance and practice, you are able to alter the way you view yourself, others, and the world. 

Remember: it is not about erasing all negative thoughts or becoming perfect, it is about creating a mindset where you can flourish despite the difficulties you face. 

The next time you find yourself stuck in self-doubt, take a step back and ask yourself whether the belief is true, and if you could choose a more liberating belief about yourself. You might be pleasantly surprised with your answer!

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